what title?
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Bouncing off the walls today. Ended night shift rather late and by that time it was closer to noon than night. Just feeling very restless though not in a bad way. On the way home was just thinking how good it was if I could start training in wushu again - just had the weirdest compulsion to start performing a complicated series of leaps and kicks and slashing with a sword. Not in a rampaging sort lets-see-how-many-people-i-can-kill way; rather, it's a sublimation of the agression that I believe each of us carries within. To transform something as deadly as a sword (ok, I know they use blunted swords in performances) into an artisitic form. And the freedom - leaping and flying through the air, the feel of the weighted weapon in your arm, the sound of it parting the air. Gosh, I'm really waxing lyrical about this. I miss all of it.

That was another level, though. Even at the time I traind most regularly I couldn't do most of the showy stuff. I could imagine doing it, yes, so close but out of reach. Maybe another couple of years, if I'd kept at it. I didn't though; years out of practice now and feeling terribly unfit. Sigh. I miss the spring I felt even doing something as simple as walking. The agility and flexibility that came naturally with it. I have to crouch to pick something from the floor now, and keep bumping against corners. It didn't use to be like that. I'm getting old - old, and unfit.

When I arrived at home, still feeling restless, I picked up the guitar sitting gathering dust at the corner. Yet another victim of my career - I somehow had this idea that the calluses formed from pressing the strings will interfere with my work. Heh. So I started playing, well at least it's something I could do in my living room that won't break either the furniture or my bones. Now I got the Entree from Partita 1 stuck in my head and can't get it out. Argh. I don't know which is preferable - this, or the obssession to fly through the air.
blog of someone who's going crazy, or else getting enlightened. sometimes it's hard to tell the difference, you know? i'm a jack-of-all-trades who dabbles in photography and martial arts (not at the same time), reads books of every description, keeps stray animals and tries to pass exams in my free time. That was then. Now I work, and work and work, and I don't know what possessed me but I find myself bloging again. And no, I didn't forget to take my pills this morning.

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